Saturday, October 14, 2006

YAY! An updated blog!

I know I've been away for awhile. It's been pretty hectic. First my Grandma died. Then we had family alight in our little spot of Oregon. Then we had the funeral. Then I found out it was my cousin's birthday the day after the funeral, and since he was staying with us, and wasn't heading home right away (he lives in Seattle) we just had to celebrate his birthday. Then it was Henry's birthday. Then he got baptized (in our church, children are baptized when they are eight years old, because at that point they should know right from wrong and can take responsibility for themselves). Then we had a surprise party for him. (we told him we weren't having a birthday party because Dad made a mistake with the budget. He totally bought the story, and then proceeded to tell EVERYONE that he wasn't having a birthday party because Dad "messed up our money." When he told the new principal {in my presence} I just about died of embarrassment. That'll teach me to tell lies!) And before I knew it, a month had flown by. I was in somewhat of a "high stress" mode, where anything NOT crucial to surviving the day and accomplishing the most basic and important of tasks didn't get done. My life ran me over, so to speak.

On top of all the business, I realized that I lived with or near my Grandmother for as long as I lived at home with my parents. I really miss her. I truly believe she's gone to a better place, and I don't really have any regrets about how I spent my time with her. She knew that I loved and cherished her. I got to serve her until the end of her life. I just wish we could hang out again, that she could be one of my grown up friends and we could talk and be as equals together. It's a good thing that I believe in the next life, because I fully plan on taking advantage of that. So along w/the chores of my life, I had to give myself time to really grieve for my grandmother--to do the grieving I didn't have time to do during the funeral preparations and the service.

I also spent some time watching the Terri Irwin/Ray Martin interview. (Google it if you want to see it--it's about an hour though, so be warned). I watched it about 3 times. I was struck by a couple of things she said. The first, when questioned about their "love at first site" between her and Steve, she agreed that it was corny, but that it was absolutely true. She also said that she had a fairy tale adventure life. And then she said the statement that will stay with me forever, "I knew it while I lived it." She elaborated that she wasn't just looking at the past through rose-colored glasses, but that she truly loved every day of her life with her Croc Hunter husband and her family, and that she understood the magic of it all as it happened around her. The other thing she said that will stay with me was "you have to be thankful for what you can." She told about how her family wasn't with Steve when he died because there wasn't room for both the film crew and the family on the boat and how grateful she was that the children didn't have to watch their father die. She also talked about how Steve always thought he'd die young--either in a car accident or falling out of a tree or something like that, and how she wished that he would have been around for ten more years--for the children's sake. And then she said how grateful she was that it wasn't ten less years. Be thankful for the things you can be thankful for. Recognize the magic while you live it. What a great lesson.

How many times have you been in the moment and missed the magic? I think that's why I blog and I scrapbook. I want to remeber the small magical fairy tale adventures you find in every day. And when I'm having a day covered in the less magical parental chores of diaper changing and cleaning up vomit, I tell myself how quickly this time with them will go. How quickly they will grow up. My daughter will be twelve in about six weeks. Joel and I realized that her time at home with us is growing shorter every day. Most of her time with us as a child is already spent. My baby is really more of a little boy--and we probably won't have another one. Usually by now in our family cycle we are "cooking" the next one. Not so this time.

It's time for the next phase in our family life. When the kids are a little older, a little more self-sufficient. Tall enough for the fun rides at Disneyland. Time to create our own fairy-tale adventure.

I'm ready to know it while I live it.

And that's the other side.

1 comment:

Cami said...

That was such a touching interview. They are just one of those families where you can see that unbelievable love between them. Very sad, always happens to the best of people.
Good to see you posting again, I'm glad you've made it thru.
Take Care! Cami