Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Time Passages

My Grandma passed away this morning.

First of all, don't be sad. This is a good thing. If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you'll know she had advanced dementia. She's been going for a long time. I'm fine.

In fact, I'd almost say I'm better than fine. We got the word on Saturday that she was beginning her journey home. I was able to spend about three hours with her. I called people important to her to come and say "good-bye." I held her hand. I called my Dad (her son) and held the phone to his ear so he could also say "good-bye." She'd called me "Sweetie" several times before that, and a bit after I hung up the phone, she grabbed my hand, pulled me close and said "I love you." I don't know if she was talking to me or my Dad or both of us, but it was still nice to hear. That was pretty much the last thing she said before she slipped into the space you go just before you die. I sang hymns to her for about an hour and a half. I also went back Sunday night to hold her hand and sing to her some more. I was there yesterday as well. It really felt like yesterday that her body was holding on to her spirit, and her spirit was nearly gone. Everytime she'd stop breathing I would tell her to "go home."

All in all, this has been a really choice experience. Although I don't blog about it here, I am a deeply religious person. This has been a very spiritual experience for me. I have loved this opportunity to serve my Grandma on this level. She has served me nearly all my life--until she couldn't physically and mentally serve me any longer. Many of the things I count as blessings in my life today are because of her. I firmly believe there is a level of love and charity you don't get to learn until you are in a position like this. I have truly enjoyed it.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later. This will probably consume me for a little bit. Thanks for understanding.


Dawn said...

I know you had a really special relationship with your Grandma. Hugs to you and your family, Dianne. You amaze me! hugs, Dawn

Cami said...

Dianne, even tho you are fine I am still sorry for your loss. Sounds like you gained a great many things even during your loss. Sounds like your Grandma was lucky to have you and you even luckier for having her. What a great family legacy of love.
take care, Cami

Cami said...

Just checking in, wanted to let you know I am thinking about you :)